21 pounds and more

I have my doubts that Owen gained a pound in a week, considering he has NEVER done that. But, that is what the scale said last night. I think it was the wet diaper I failed to remove.
I was concerned about the lack of improvement in his eye lids and that his allergy meds weren't helping. I saw a pediatrician, who happens to be a childhood friend. She thought the scaly concern was excema and referred me to the dermatologist. She didn't want to give him a steroid cream because he would wipe it in his eye and cause cataract. That will hopefully take less that the 6 weeks it took last time to get in. (nope, just made the appt for late June dammit)
She also showed concern about his lack of weight gain and referred me to a nutricionist. I don't know how helpful that will be, but I am willing to give it a try. He is sooo finicky and won't try anything. One of the suggestions the Dr gave when talking about what I would learn, tip wise, was to add olive oil to mashed potatoes for more fat. That would be you assuming the child would let mashed potatoes grace his lips. NOPE!! (next week for this one)
She wants to see us back in a month and has some tests in mind to run if he isn't gaining better. I think I will start asking to see her versus the woman I have considered our pediatrician, in the same office. I like that I know her and have since kindergarden.

Gwendolyn has grown 2 inches since her birthday 2 months ago. How did that happen?? She is getting more opinionated about what she wants to wear and what she WILL wear. I haven't been able to get a pair of jeans on her in many months, doesn't like the feel. It is all soft pants or better yet a dress or skirt. She is picky about which dress, "no the other one, the warm one". I will have to take a picture of her closet, it is insane full, yet we reach for the same thing 85% of the time.
She has also mastered the art of chewing gum and asks for it everyday. It always goes in the trash when she is done and she hasn't swallowed it in months. Now I have one more thing to tell her "no" about, lovely. She is a master of puzzles and can put together a puzzle, no cover picture, no edge done first, like it is nothing. I didn't appreciate the rareness of this till another friend was over and had to coach her daughter through the whole puzzle combining experience, start to finish.
We leave for Kodiak in a couple weeks and then she starts pre-school when we come home. She will go on Tuesday and Thursday, 8:30 - 3:30. She will have lots of kids in her class that she already knows, which is nice. She has been doing better about not "riding" on things the last few weeks, thankfully. I am excited for her to gain interaction skills and sharing. I can't wait to receive class artwork for my fridge, ahhhh. She will do gymnastics each day too.

OK, I suppose this was about more than just Owens weight :)

Mothers Day

It is hard to let myself enjoy Mothers Day, when I still try to make it special for my Mom and MIL. Matt has had to work 3 out of my 4 specials days. This means I go about being a mother in the same capacity that I do every other day of the year. I would like, some year, to wake up and actually have the whole day be about me.

This was actually the 2nd best yet. Normally I am dismal in attitude, with rightful reason, that I will get nothing and have a "normal" day with no celebration. Matt is notorious (in my eyes) for not having time to shop for me and in turn I feel like an ass for have any expectations. Makes for a crappy day for me. I will give little reminders, "I already bought your mother her present, so you don't have to worry about that one....", to remind him the day is coming up. I knew that him and the kids had went shopping last week, so less anxiety for me over whether I was getting anything or not. I did have to answer the question, "how much sould I/can I spend?". I hate answering that, but I am the one in charge of money in our home. I gave him broad answers so as to not take away any chance of suprise for me, "if it is this much, take from this account.....if it is more, charge it".

I knew he had to work yesterday and I had a big day planned for my moms graduation with her masters degree. He had the decency to warn me in the morning that there wasn't a present laid out for me yet, but he would take care of it that night. I like that he told me versus letting me brood all day thinking he had forgotten about me. Although it would have taken him 2 minutes to sign the card and the present was wrapped at the store already, but anyhow.

I came home with Gwendolyn a little after he did with Owen, from the party. He had left the present of the corner of the kitchen counter for me, why he could come hand it to me I'll never figure out. He has given me DVD's of the Friends series over the last few holidays and that is what I anticipated getting this time, and it was the right size package. But, I could tell someone else had wrapped it, since there was a bow on it. I brought it into the bedroom to open it in front of him and I commented about my original theory and how I was starting to think that it wasn't a DVD. I open it and it is a beautiful strand of pearls. I have been wanting and asking for these since we have been together. I love them and I love that he has been listening (a little at least). He was brave enough to take both kids into a jewlery store and he said these were the ones that Gwendolyn picked out and Owen wanted the colorful ones (blech to me). He knew I wanted classic looking ones. I had told him about a radio announcement that one of our jewlery stores was closing after 20 years and had specials going on. That is where he went, so my prodding helped. Hey, I am not above dropping hints. He doesn't always get them, but I leave them.

My mom liked her party and the brochade bag I got her and my MIL loved the pansy dress by Nita. It is a beautiful dress and she appreciates the work that went into it and the material. I plan on getting her a potted pansy when it is staying warmer outside, so that a gift is "actually" for her. The pansy dress is a size 3T and is for Gwendolyn to wear and grandma to appreciate. Everyone thought it was very beautiful and it indeed is!! Thank you Nita and I will post some pictures soon.

I hope all the other mothers had a wonderful day too!!

They are not the same babies

Apparently Owen thinks I needed a reminder, that they are indeed different babies. Jeez this teething thing with him is a world appart from how it was with Gwendolyn. You never knew she had a tooth coming in, ever. I have know when every tooth in Owens mouth was coming in. These molars have been the absolute worst. There is enough snot and drool to drown a pig. He cries if you look at him, or if you look away. His fingers are shoved in his mouth always and he is back to chewing on toys. My biggest beef is him being in pain and me being unable (in his eyes) to make him happy or comfortable. I am alternating tylenol and Ibuprophrin (sp) and giving him the homeopathic teething tablets.

He is also drugged up on Zyrtec for his assumed seasonal allergies, along with $85 eye drops. They don't seem to be making much of a difference yet, but I haven't given up hope yet. Him and his poor eyes. I hope someday that he has "normal" eyes with no issues. They seem to be the worst area of his allergy issues and are all red and swollen and itchy. I am afraid that he will rub his tubes right out of his tear ducts. I am sure that the stitches have dissolved by now and they are capable of coming out. The goal is to keep them in 6-8 months and then the ducts will be good to go. I has only been 5 weeks. They are stitched into his nasal passage with dissolvable stitches.

The small bit of good news is that he broke 20 pounds when he went in last week for allergies. Woohoo!!! He is 20lb 8ounces. He is still little and food picky, but he is growing slowly but surely. I hold out hope that he will eventually catch up and be a average size. I have had a couple people comment about how it is good that Gwendolyn is older and spunky, since she will have to look out for him and beat up on people for him. I don't want him to be the little kid in the class and get picked on for it.

Mommy Smell

That little girl of mine can melt my heart sometime. I base a lot of my memories on smell, certain scents bring back certain memories.
Anytime I smell Chanel perfume, I think of my mom. It is her smell and I can pick it out anywhere. I love it!!
Gwendolyn and I were cuddling on the couch yesterday and she pauses and leans in close to me and sniffs. She then lovingly says, "you smell like Mommy". Ahhhhh, I loved hearing that. I had no perfume on and had actually not showered yet, but I must have had my natural mom smell going on. Still brings a smile to my face.

Stress

I hate when another persons mood and stress carries over and is able to affect me. I like to think that is the only issue and there is nothing else to worry about. Aack, life can be overwhelming sometimes.

Oh, and HATE seasonal allergies.

I feel selfish...

I feel selfish because part of my concern with the whole T situation is how it will affect the Garden. I worry that it is driving women away and I hate the idea of losing my Garden gals. I have come to rely on them so much over the last few years and can't imagine not having them around. It still amazes me that they all hold such a big spot in my heart, when I have only met 2 of them in real life. I have seen a few ladies "voice" their hurt and betrayal and thoughts of not coming around for a while or ever. That bums me out so much. Coincidentally, the Garden site has been changed and you log in elsewhere. My panic at not being able to access my online world was significant. I can't imagine not having these ladies in my life.
So now I feel like a heel for thinking of myself when there is obviously another who deserves more attention.

Huge decision to make for my future

This all seems trivial in comparison to what another friend is facing right now. T, my heart goes out to you.
As for in my world, I need to decide if I am going to work for my family business or continue where I am.
I work at a Non-profit organization and have for 7 years.
It is a Youth Court program, a diversion from the formal juvenile justice system. We have youth who are trained as attorneys and take real juvenile cases to court. I have been slacking off lately (last couple of years) and know I am doing the program a disservice and someone could really expand my position. Damn Gardening time is much more fun than actual work, LOL, I know some of you can relate. I love my work and get enjoyment and satisfaction from my work with the kids. I can still volunteer with them or be on the Board of Directors and be super useful there. I work m-f, 9:30-5, later on thursdays since that is court night. Occasional saturdays for special occasions. I get to travel once a year for a conference of some sort. I have no retirement to consider.

New job would be in the office, with no out and about during the day. Laid back atmosphere, answering phones and data entry. I would job share with my SIL, three days a week, 7:30-4:30. So, 2 extra days with the kiddos. I would take a loss of $2000 a year, but would probably make up for that with not eating out at lunch. It has old school dial up, but I would probably force the DSL issue. If and when we have more kids, I could bring them to this office as well. It would ease up the burden on MIL of watching them 5 days a week, to only 3. My dad would be my boss, not sure if that is a pro or con? There will probably be retirement in the future, but we don't have that arranged right now.
There are way more thoughts and pros and cons, but this is a start to my thought process.

More thoughts..
The set-up would not be a controlling boss kinda thing, more just that he is ultimately in charge. When he is ready to retire in 4 years my DH would then assume that position. And he sure the hell would not be my boss, LOL
I have been dreading taking on any new projects at work and there are lots of areas that I could really expand the program. I have been mentally done with ambition here for a while. I am nervous about giving up this job, since it is sooo cake and comfortable. I don't imagine it would ever come back around again, I would just have to be happy where I was at. I do like the feeling I have of importance in the community and the connections I have made.I don't dread going to work, but I slack off all day and don't think it is very fair.
All day (3 hours, LOL) that I have been at work I have been mentally relieved when I think ahead to upcoming events and I think to myself "it will be nice to not have to deal with that" Does that mean I have mentally made up my mind and I am already on short timers syndrome?

Look good always....or sometimes?

I was thinking this morning how rare it is that I put effort into my appearance, such as make-up and "done" hair. I know that there are a lot of women out there who won't leave the house without being completely done up. I just don't feel I have the time, most mornings. I shower while the kids are still sleeping and then get dressed and get them up. I come back to me while they are eating breakfast and take the towel off my hair and do as much as I feel like with it. Normally not much. Back to the kids and getting them dressed and we are all out the door.
I am thinking I like my way better. My reasoning is as follows. If you dress up every day and always wear make-up and always do your hair nice, people stop noticing. They then notice if you do nothing and have a "natural" day and then think you look like crap or something is wrong. Me, I am "natural" most days and people tend to notice me and pay me compliments on the days that I put effort in (at least 2 work days a week).
My point is, I would rather be noticed for looking good than looking like crap.

Maternal yearnings

Owen weaned a couple months back, in preparation for my vacation among other things. I am floored by the maternal yearning to pull that child to my breast and nurse him right now. In the couple days leading up to his surgery and ever since, I feel such a pull to that. He is still on the small side and currently not interested in eating even the few things he would previous let past his lips. I am desprate to get him interested in food or find that magic morsel that he will devour. I start thinking to myself, if he was nursing I would know he was getting some nutrients.....oh the mothers heartache. I have crazy thoughts of relactating with my 16 months old, a bit unrealistic.

Gwendolyn-ism

Gwendolyn has a movie at the inlaws called Scamper. It is about a little penguin, she loves it and asks to watch it frequently. Apparently they also picked up Happy Feet this last week, another penguin movie. Which by the way, has taught her to nose dive off the couch and she tried on the stairs but was caught before impact. Anyhow, I was dropping them off this morning and she started asking me where her scamper feet were, while looking at her feet. I am thinking to myself "does she have slippers that I am not aware of"? It finally dawned on me that she wanted to watch Happy Feet and that was her way of asking, toddler style. So cute.

Owen's eye surgery yesterday

Owen has small, clogged tear ducts, that either needed to be probed and popped open or tubed for a time period, to learn to be open. This is the information we had going in to the surgery and we would learn more once Dr. Zambar got in there and poked around. He has had numerous eye infections in the last year and would face a lifetime of them if we didn't correct them now. 18 months is the optimal time to do the surgery.
This is the look he will give you if you ask to see his teeth, LOL.

That was a sucky experience that I hope to never have to go through again. The surgery took two hours and the Dr said Owen's passage was a challenge, but he was up for it. He ended up being middle of the road, not simple, but didn't have to build him any tear ducts. He did have to place 4 tubes into all his ducts and they need to stay for at least 6 months. The sucky part was him coming out of sedation. Wow, that was probably more tramatic for me, but it was no fun. They brought him into the room we were waiting in, after the recovery room, once he came to. His "come to" was only half way there. They are kinda freaked out for up to an hour and just cry because they don't understand the fog they are in. The odd and I do mean odd sounding cry was the hard part. You could tell he had no idea what was going on or where he was, he just cried with an animal instinct (so I cried too). We came home and continued to fight the sedation for the rest of the day. He never napped for more than 20 minutes and when he did he went to sleep crying and would wake with the same animal cry that he had that morning. Fortunately, he slept well last night and woke up 95% himself today.
Now we wait and hope that these stay in and do the trick. There is always the chance that he could pull them out, via the corner of his eye, but they are stiched into his nasal passage and will hurt if he does yank on them. These stiches will disolve in 4 weeks. We also have to be careful when rubbing gunk out of the corner of his eyes to not catch the tubes and pull them out. I actually cannot see them. The said we might be able to see them in the corner of his eye. They are the width of a pencil lead and I think are a shiny silver. He had a little bloody nose off and on yesterday, but otherwise you cannot tell a thing visually.

1st child versus 2nd child

Gwendolyn has been in swim class since she was 10 months old. We go every Saturday and love it. She has always been the star of the class and loves the attention and seems to seek it out. We started Owen on lessons (parent/tot for both of them) when he was 6 months old. It was more that we were already there with Gwendolyn, why not put Owen in the water too theory. Owen has just kinda existed in the class, not digging it nor hating it. Two weeks ago Gwendolyn moved up the the pre-school class and doesn't need me anymore (boohoo). This mean Owen is an only child for the first time in his life. He is LOVING it!! He has taken her spot mentally and wants everyone to notice him and his swim-ability in the class. You can hear him when you walk into the building, he is laughing and having a blast. Prior, he showed no interest in climbing out and jumping in, now he is a pro. It was amazing to watch him blossom without his sister's shadow. Cousin Matia is in the class too and they love to be around each other.
Gwendolyns class is now held right after Owens and I have to stand and watch at the balcony like all the other parents. She is in a class with one other girl and 4 boys. She is doing great. I wish her new teacher would realize her ability before he sets her back to the dog paddle. He holds her hands when she jumps in and helps her swim back to the side of the pool. Let her go fool, she can do it herself. Every few minutes she hollars out for me to make sure I am watching her. Too cute.
I am so proud of my little swimmers.

Technologically depressed

I came across an article recently that mentioned how different things will be for the upcoming generation of kids versus how it was for me 15-25 years ago. I can remember road trips with my family with such fond memories. My brother and I would be in the back of the truck, the back seat of the car or truck, or even in the camper on the back of the truck. We had each other to rely upon for entertainment. We would spend hours making up games or playing old reliable ones. I can remember a game of War (card game) that lasted a whole weekend. We would occasionally allow the other to cheat, just to keep the game going. My bother is 18 months older than me and apparently was a quicker thinker than me. One of his favorite games was for me to "draw" on his back with my fingernails and he would guess what I was drawing. Looking back on it, I know he was just trying to get a back scratch out of me. Another that was a frequent favorite was to sing a part of a song and see if the other could guess either the title or the artist. I sucked at that one and still do, Matt tries to get me to play that even now. As a family we traveled all over the State of Alaska, but we always managed a few weekends a summer in Valdez. Valdez is 350 miles from home. That made for long hours on the road. I loved it!!
My concern with how things will be different for my children is the lack of imagination they will be afforded. Keep in mind this is all a choice and we are the ones doing the raising of these kids. I can already see how road trips will pan out in the future....got the DVD's for the player in the car?? Check!! Everyother time we get in my Yukon, Gwendolyn is asking to turn on the movie player. If she doesn't then Owen is grunting and pointing in his so eloquent way. If we are going to be driving for a while, I will allow that treat and turn on Bugs Life for them (that was in the car when we bought it and I haven't brought another movie to the car yet, so that is the only choice). They are starting to take it for granted and want it everytime. My reaction, NO!! This brought me around to thinking about how I entertained myself on road trips and how they are demanding stimuli on a cross town 15 minute run. Hey kids, bring a book or sing a song.
Speaking of singing a song, I never got around to completing CK's tag, since only one of the CD's in my Yukon are mine. I have a 6 disc changer and they (Gwendolyn) have taken pocession of 5 of them. My one CD is what you wonder? Eurithmics, yea baby, LOL. Pathetic the way I am being run out of my own car.
I just want to take things back to the basics and have my children be less technological than they seem to be heading. I am keeping my foot down on no TV in their room, phone doesn't matter anymore, they are all portable anyway. It is all very depressing.

What I've Done

See what I've done in boldtype.
01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger.
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas (engaged, bachelorette party and 1st anniversary)
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark (YUM!)
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children/currently raising child
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (bear)
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life.

If you've read this consider your self tagged. I want to see all of my friends doing this!

Addictions

I used to smoke. I smoked for a little over 10 years, starting when I was around 14. I quit on Christmas eve 2000. I didn't want to be a bride standing there in her wedding dress with a cigarette hanging from her lips. Wasn't an image I wanted. I still want a cigarette at least once a week. I am smart enough to know that I cannot be a casual smoker, it is either all or nothing with me. I could never understand some of my friends who could just smoke when we were out drinking and then have nothing to do with it the rest of the week. There are times it smells so appealing that I feel my heart start to race and I salivate. Crazy the way an addiction can control a person.
I now find myself addicted to Chai tea, namely the brand Big Train that comes in powdered form that you milk with steamed milk. WOW, it is so good. I like the spiced flavor the best, but will drink the vanilla or chocolate too. It has started to bother me that I DO feel addicted to drinking this stuff. I am realizing this and have started to limit the amount of times I am allowed it during a given week. Monday is double punch day at the drive thru coffee shot, so that is my splurge day. The stuff is expensive and fattening, plus I feel addicted. How do I feel addicted you wonder? I get raging lack of caffine headaches if I don't start my morning off with one. I can barely stay awake to get through the day if I don't have one. I am addicted to caffine. It effects me in the biggest way. I don't tend to drink caffinated things while pregnant, definately not while nursing under 6 months of age. So, that is a fairly long time to go without caffine. Once I start introducing caffine back into my body I talk really fast and shake a little and there is no going to sleep for me till at least 8 hours have passed. Crazy I tell you!!
With this new goal of limiting the Chia intake, I find myself talking me out of buying a chai practically everyday. Conversations in my head go along the lines of "you can do it, keep driving past, you don't need chai, you are stronger than that". Other days it is more "you got up and out of the house early for Church, you deserve to stop, or, you have a long day ahead of you, you need it". I can rationalize anything I want. But it bothers me that I feel addicted to chia. It is helping me understand my husbands need for coffee in the morning. Up till now, I never really got it. Coffee tastes and smells like crap and I couldn't understand a persons need to drink that crap to start the day off. Chia on the otherhand tastes like heated up heaven in a cup!! I'm drooling, luckily it is monday and that is double punch day, so I am allowed the indulgance.

Sledding

All ready to go sledding for the first time

Gwendolyn went many times and Owen only went twice. He was so low to the ground that the snow flew right up into his face. The second time he went I had him stand up between my legs and behind Gwendolyn and he liked that better. We had lots of fun and will be going again soon. We went with my parents on Saturday.

Life changes for a parent

I find myself wondering if I have sacrificed enough of myself to be a mom. I feel like I still have lots of my old identity left. At least once a week I have some extra curricular thing going on, whether it be with a volunteer group I am a member of, an evening out with the girls for Bunko, dinner with hubby, or some other random activity. I feel like I am always pawning off the kids to go do something I would like. Does it make me a bad mom to still have a life or will I instill in my children the value of being well rounded? I gave up softball when I got pregnant with Gwendolyn and haven't done it again yet. I miss it, but have sacrificed that for the kiddos. I don't remember my mom having much of a life when we were little. My parents life was us kids, as coaches, chauffeurs, supporters, or parents. I wonder what my kids will think of their mom when they reflect back on their youth.

Lock them in a closet now

Wow, I attended a nine hour gang awareness training yesterday. The realities of the World make me want to lock my babies in a closet and let them out in 20 years. I live in a secluded corner of the World and should not have to face these realities. We have a lot of Military and various other transplants that bring to "real world" to Alaska and we are starting to see a gang issue.
There were pictures of gang memebers during the presentation and I was amazed at the split personalities of a few of the people. You would see this nice innocent looking little girl in one picture and then the next she was yeilding a semiautomatic gun and throwing gang signs, looking all evil. I think she is sticking in my mind the most she it was a female and my oldest is a female. Makes me ever more determined to send them to a small private school and shelter them. I know that is not the answer, there are many more factors in how a person turns out, but I've got to think it will help.
It is very scary being a parent and I don't see it getting any easier.

Three years ago

I was blessed with a baby girl. I am still amazed that I am a mommy and that you are my little girl. I had great intentions of writing a letter to you yesterday, but instead we spent the day having fun together. We gave out suckers at the local middle school for mommy's work, then you came to the office with me for a while. We managed to get your three year old pictures taken, but just barely. I suppose having too much fun with you is a good excuse for not writing out a proper happy birthday.
I love you more than I thought possible. I love to watch you sleep, play, read, swim, jump, dance, and more. I am touched at how you can share these moments with your brother, though not always. I love that you want to see him in first thing in the morning and are always concerned with where he is and what he is doing.
Seeing the world through your eyes makes a person realize all the fun and exciting things available in an ordinary day. You have countless energy and no desire to sit still. You have recently decided that dresses are the only appropriate form of clothing. Fortunately I love to shop and this has not been an issue. I hope the desire to wear pants and shorts comes back around, I have lots of cute outfits awaiting you. You outgrew your excema and bumps a couple months ago and we were all very happy. Yippy for building up immunity.
You love to watch hockey live and will cheer for the Nanooks. You have overcome your fear of the Nanook mascot and we have to go find him every game. Your favorite song is Baby Beluga and we have to play it every other song in Mommys car, sometimes I am allowed to sing along, but not always. During the last year you have continued to take parent/tot swim and excel at swimming. Now that you are three you can do lessons on your own. I think it is an exciting transition, but I am mourning that time we had together. You also took a few months of parent/tot tumble. You had fun, but it was no where near as fun as swimming. Plus, you peed on the tumble mat and emberassed the heck out of me. We tried our hand at parent/tot story time at the library and enjoyed it. I think you sat still better for Daddy though. You love going to Church and run off and check yourself into the nursery without me. Since you are there, brother feels safe and will stay there too. You didn't have that person, so I had to miss Church and play in the nursery with you more often than not during the end of one and into two years old.
You can count to 17 without fail and sometimes more than that. You can sing your ABC's, Twinkle Twinkle, Jesus loves me, Mary had a little lamb, and many others. You are so excited about the possibility of going to school and riding the school bus. I really don't think you will be riding a bus, unless it is to a field trip though, sorry.
We got you a Fisher Price digital camera for your birthday and you have been taking tons of pictures. Prior to this, you would use random objects as cameras and make people pose for you. The gift was a no brainer. We are having a party for you on Sunday at Aaka and Aapas house with all your cousins and friends. There will be food and cupcakes and you guys will make smiley-face-permant-playdoh characters. Mainly, you will be running around tearing up the house and having fun.
You have a very special relationship with all your grandparents. You have unique things you do with each of them and look forward to time with them all. You and Grandma Mary like to read. You like to wrestle with you Poppa Rufus. You like to feed the fishies and frost cookies with your Aapa. You like to make brownies and lick the bowl with your Aaka. They are all humored when you call them on the phone and can mostly understand you. You talk frequently and fast, in general.
I could go on and on, but there is too much you are wonderful at and so much new you learn everyday. I love you with all me heart and could not imagine my life without you in it. You are my joy and sunshine, my greatest accomplishment yet my biggest fear. Thank you for every minute, of every day, my sweet baby girl.

Owen has surpassed a monkey

Owen is only allowed his yiyi (pacifier) when in his crib for bed, as is Gwendolyn. At my parents house his crib is upstairs in the kids room, which BTW is normally gated off. Owen loves to walk around with this little plastic golf club and hit at balls and balloons. The club is always in his hand when he is there. I guess the other day he went up stairs and was trying to reach through the crib slats to get his yiyi, even tried to pull the blanket to get the yiyi to come with. It didn't work. Not too long later he was downstairs playing with his precious golf club and according to my Dad you could visibly see when he made the connection that the club might just get him the yiyi. He takes off at a fast waddle and climb up the non-gated stairs to his bedroom. Sure as anything, the precious golf club was able to reach the yiyi and all was well. My brother commented when he heard the story "that right there, is where man surpassed monkey in brain function" I prefer to be proud of my boy and his reasoning skills and ability to strategize and problem solve.

Maui vacation

We had a wonderful, relaxing time. We were there for our honeymoon 5 years ago and saw and did everything we wanted to at that time. We were able to just sit on the beach or poolside and relax as much as our hearts desired this trip. We left the kids at home, which was nice for us to relax, but we both missed the heck out of them. We plan on taking them and a grandparent with us next year. They will be old enough to enjoy the ocean at that time. It would have been miserable if we brought them, since they were both laid up with bad colds when we left and most of the time we were gone. That made it harder to leave them, sick and miserable. But they were in good hands.

The things mothers will do in the name of mothering

I have had a long few days of sick kids. The upside is, they are getting better and I leave for Maui in 24 hours. I am very conflicted about leaving them, especially when they don't feel well. My saving grace is that they will be with each set of grandparents for four days. I know they will be fine, but Owen has not stayed the night anywhere yet and has only had one night with me not home. He is weaned and sleeping through the night.
Back to the sick thing and what moms are capable of. I have to say for the record that I have sacrificed my sanity and caught, yes caught with my bare hands, phlem induced vomit FOUR times in the last couple days!! Two times for each kid. That, I tell, is LOVE. The poor little ones are apparently ingesting so much phlem, that I can only assume is running down their throats, that it is making them vomit. That or they get coughing so hard that they vomit. Any way you look at it, it sucks. This is on top of Grandma being out of town, the one who usually watches them. They come home today and we leave tomorrow. My cousin Robin has been saving me and watching them, since her kid also has what mine do. Her kiddo is much worse today, so they are home today and I am home for the morning and my Dad will come up this afternoon. I hate this childcare juggle and I hate that I am always the one responsible for figuring it out. Matt will just tell me, don't go to work. Well, it is not the easy. We leave on vacation this week and I have work responsibilites. It is no easier for me to take time off than it is for him, but he will never see it that way. He did split Monday off with me, fortunately. The kids are sleeping better and coughing less at night, so I consider that progress. I have been downing the airborne - don't get sick - stuff. I hope it works, I don't want to have a miserable vacation. But, I would much rather have a cold on the beach than at home in the cold. Which by the way, it has dropped from 20 above zero to 40 below zero. It makes it much better to leave for the tropics when it is real cold at home. The resort has a massuese (sp) that will come to the beach and give massages. I can tell you what I am doing friday, woohoo!!

Happy with her new soft jammies

Daycare

Both kids are in the first of two days of home daycare. Most the grandparents are out of town on the same few days and my sister-in-law broke her ankle and my cousin has to work these two days. My niece goes to this lady and this is where my two would have gone if Erin (SIL) didn't take them a day or two a week to relieve Grandma. BUT still, this is the first time they have been with anyone they are not related too, for longer than a Church service. I pack a bag with change of clothes for both, yiyi's, snowpants, Owen diapers, wipes and liners, bibs, sippy cups, Gwendolyns special blanket, and a well thought out instruction sheet. I have heard from the lady once and both kids were doing well. Owen had a nap and is already in his spare clothes and Gwendolyn was lacking a nap and refusing to walk (needs a nap) while they are around town on their errand. I am a touch nervous with her driving around town on the icy roads with my babies in her car, but I am trying to not focus on that. She has her two kids that are helping her and she pays them. They are 8 and 10 and she homeschools them. They are a real nice Christian family, who are very "basic" in how they live. They raise chickens and she even grinds her own flour to make their bread. They will go to her again on Monday and we may use her again someday, as needed.

To Share or Not?

Do I tell my family and local friends about my blog?? Or will it censor what I write about. Not that I write anything mean or even very revealing or deep, BUT I might want to. I did tell a long lost friend yesterday about my blog and left the link. I figure that is cracking the door to revealing myself. I have mentioned it in passing to friends and family, but no one has even jumped on the information. If I was just doing this blog as a kid update, I would have sent the link to all 75 relatives I have. But I have been pretty broad in what topics I hone in on, some kids and some me. Matt doesn't even know I write here, not that I think he knows what a blog is.
Does your family and/or friends (in real life) know about your blog?

The Lies.....and more

The lies begin at 2 years old. I don't think she is being delibrate, more like a lame attempt at helpful.
Me- working in the kitchen "Owen, are you all done?" more for conversation effects, not thinking that he is going to spout off and answer me.
Owen - in highchair in dining room, right next to kitchen and within my view "grunt, grunt"
Gwendolyn - standing in front of highchair "Owen said he is all done"
Me - "really, he really said all done?"
Gwendolyn - "Yep, he said so"
I have been continuing to work at the sign language, but I don't think he is being selective and just showing her the signs. She also claims he says please, but I just don't hear him. Yeah right. I was impressed that he followed my sign instruction, when he was ignoring my word instruction. I was trying to tell him to go to his highchair, it was time to eat. He stood there at my feet whining till I signed food and he then turned and scurried over to the chair of food. He can be taught :)
As for food, baby steps of progress for picky eater world. Owen ate human food for diner the last two nights, spagetti and stroganoff. That makes me very happy. I also discovered that Owen will drink rice milk!! Cow and soy had been thrown to the floor in disgust, but rice milk gets drunk and finished. I am happy that there is another source of calcium going into his body, he needs all the nutrients possible.

Yesterday morning Gwendolyn was riding her 4-wheeler around the living room and said to Daddy and myself, "bye, I am off to work. I go see my Wendy". I thought it was adorable, but it makes much more sense if you know that my bosses name is Wendy. I just thought it was sweet.
She has been fully potty trained for the last month. Prior to that she had been day trained since a little over 2 years old. I finally made the suggestion of panties at night and we just tried and it has been a screaming success. She also knows and mentions occasionally that when she turns 3 next month that her precious yiyi (pacifier) goes away. She only has it for sleep time, but I think she is fully ready. She has already given them up at the grandparents houses.

Smashing Success

Father-Daughter story time was a smashing success. They did the normal round of warm-up songs, then it was a movie, not a story. I guess Gwendolyn sat there the whole time, like a good little girl. Either it is me that is the problem or all my prepping of "listen to the teacher and Daddy" worked. I like to think it was my prepping tactic. They were given a craft project to do at home, instead of at the end of story time. I am slightly disappointed about that. I kinda wanted Daddy to have to get crafty and artsy with Gwendolyn. I wanted to see the creation.

Side note, it is officially less than two weeks till my Hawaii vacation with Hubby, woohoo!!


Just a photo, for photo's sake, because I can.

Teething Times

Owen took 14 months to get his first 4 teeth, slowly. He is currently making up for it by getting the next 8 at the same time. Yep 8!! He is a ball of fun, all wrapped up with a dallop of drool on top. I have invested in baby tylenol and teething tablets. Fortunately, he is still sleeping well, just mildly whiny and clingy.

These little differences between my two children always suprises me, which in turn suprises me that I am suprised, you follow? They are two different people, but I find myself expecting the same thing development wise. My head would probably explode from suprise if I had twins and they had they audacity to develop a smidge different from each other. Like I was amazed to learn that CK's twin boys have differnt laughs. But they are twins, they are alike till death do they part. I am so naive sometimes.

On a side note - Matt is taking Gwendolyn to parent-tot story time tommorrow. Should be interesting. I will start prepping her tonight, so he has a chance of her listening to the teacher and sitting still. I think he is kinda looking forward to it.

Gwendolyn had her first overnight party this last weekend. Her cousin Brooke came to the UAF hockey game with us and then stayed over. She just turned 4 and they like to play together, in spurts. I had them sleep on the sofa bed and Gwendolyn was amazed that the couch did that and keeps asking to sleep on the "new bed". I slept half the night on the couch next to them. We watched Open Season for a while and then went to sleep. They slept great and we made pancakes in our pj's in the morning. I like having a little girl a year older than Gwendolyn around. It gives me something to base my expectations on. Next year she will be in the bragging/boastful stage. I hope she skips right over the toy hoarding stage, annoying!! That and great hand-me-downs :) Brooke has a little sister coming in May, so we will lend back everything that her Mom gave us. Works great and makes me feel better about having accepted so much from her. I am a pack-rat (yes I just admitted it in writing) and that works in my favor at times like this.

Can you believe this crap??

The Pork industry has the gall to try and sue this blogging woman beacuse she was clever enought to make some shirts that had a logo about "The Other White Milk", among other cute titles. I think it is a great spin and if it encourages even one mom to breastfeed, then I am all for it!! I hope someone does step forward and represent her pro bono, she deserves it.
On a side note, I have yet to throw away the Baby Talk magazine that had the wonderful photo on the cover of a baby nursing at its moms breast. I just love that picture and wish I had taken one of either of my babies nursing.

Pent up energy

How is it that my child is always the one child that won't sit still, won't pay attention, won't be peacful and calm? I registered for parent and 2's story time at the library (thanks Nicole ) for the month of February. We had our first session this morning. There were 10 other kids and parents. ALLLLLL the other kids sat with their repsective parent and listened to the lady tell and read stories with props or books. My child (Gwendolyn)....
ran up to Miss Kitty every few minutes and was always told to go sit back down with your mom.
Spun circles on her ass while intending to sit on the carpet and pay attention.
Sat so close to the poor little girl on the bench behind us that she was forced to go sit in her mothers lap and hide her face.
Tried to overtalk Miss Kitty and tell all the other kids about the whale that was painted on the wall.

I swear I am not a bad parent, but that child has too much energy and won't sit still or listen to me or Dad or a Grandparent. I try and stress that you HAVE to listen to the teacher, she is in charge. If you are not listening, we are leaving. I have been talking up teacher authority for a while in hopes that she takes it serious and treat the future pre-school teacher with repsect. It is just emberassing to always be the parent that is calling your childs name and trying to get them to mind. I feel like a failure and I feel like it is taking away from the enjoyment of the other participants. Has anyone heard old school Bill Cosby and the bit he does about the little kid on the plane and how everyone knew the kids name by the end of the flight from hearing the mom hollar it sooo many times. That would be me and Gwendolyn. I sooo relate to that.

I want one of those kids who will sit and listen. Is that asking too much? She will sit and listen at home and loves books, but when we get into a group setting like that she loses her mind and all sense of right and wrong. I had hope that Owen would be my cuddler, but he seems to be outgrowing that and becoming more independent and curious. Maybe the next one?? someday?

If I could only bottle this energy, I could make millions. Millions I tell ya!!

Count my blessings

That is my new motto when it comes to Owen and eating, count my blessings.
I was griping that all the child will eat is baby food, from a jar. If I try to offer him anything from my plate, he turns his head and won't even allow it to graze his lips. He won't even try to taste it, he automatically thinks he won't like it. I don't know what made him think the following food were tolerable to try tasting, but I'll take them. He will eat toast, crackers, pancakes and such, fish sticks, french fries and chicken nuggets. So I lie, he will eat a very limited variety of human food. But at this age Gwendolyn was all over human food and we were past the jarred crap. A fellow mom at the party commented that at least he would willingly eat the jarred stuff, she didn't have that luxery with her baby. When he gave up baby food, he still wouldn't eat human food. She recommended that I count my blessings and I think I need to agree.
Thing is, this child needs to gain weight and being picky isn't helping matters. He gained a pound from is year check-up and the Dr was happy that he gained that much. I was hoping he would have broke the 20 lb mark. He won't drink milk, plain or with carnation instant breakfast, that gets chucked across the room, as does the pediasure.
At least he is eating jarred food, there is always that.

Recent pictures

With new fabulous batteries for my camera, I have been taking more pictures, Yea!!

Going to Church on Sunday in her new pretty dress, that I later noticed was dry clean only, thank-you-very-much.

Owen in his Eskimo kuspuk, lookin handsome


Longest he has ever left a hat on before, LOL

I just love the look she was giving me here, "ah Mom"
PLUS, proof that she can do dishes and was very willing back in the day.

He can be taught....

but apparently not too fast. I have been working with Owen on sign language for months now and he had not used a sign yet, just giggled at me when I sign things to him. But, he must have been paying a little attention at some point. He signed food a couple days ago, a few times - so not a fluke. I still can't get "all done" or "more" or "please". Those are the only ones I have been faithfully trying. I need to look up the one for water or drink, that one would be usefull, if he will learn it. Owens' cousin Matia has a good sign vocabulary, from home and her two day a week babysitter. I am hoping some of that will rub off on him.

I was always amazed and proud of how quick Gwendolyn picked it up and learned that she could use signs for many instances. For example, she learned "all done" fairly easy and then determined that she could sign that to be done with a bath, play, book, nap, anything. It didn't just mean all done with her food like I was teaching.

Are these attributes any indication of how they will learn come school time??

6 Materialistic things

Tagged by Beth (thanks) to list 6 materialistic things I want, can't be humanitarian, like World Peace.

1) A fabulous fitting pair of black Calvin Kleins. I keep striking out.

2) Is is fair to say lose 50 lbs?? I think that is somewhat materialistic, LOL. Hell, it is my wish so I am keeping it.

3) A new collection of bras for my non nursing boobs to enjoy.

4) A peacock topaz ring with gold nuggets

5) A weekend in Las Vegas with my girls (IRL and Garden Hoes)

6) A prize winning 80's prom dress

I tag Shannon (craftymom) and Nikki (Oliviasmom)and Jules

How quickly they forget

It breaks my heart, but also amazes me. Both Owen and Gwendolyn seem to have weaned very easy, easy since I have not much to compare it to. Owen weaned a couple weeks back. This was my idea, thinking it would be easier on him than leaving him startled and abandoned when I go to Hawaii. He was very much a boob-boy and I figured he would have a harder time. So in a way, you could say I am disappointed that he doesn't miss it more than he does. I assumed I would have to fight the boy off me for a while. Nope, nothing. O.K., we are done and life goes on. I sleep topless, TMI, but I have been delibrately putting on a top prior to seeing the baby in the morning or by chance in the middle of the night, not wanting to confuse him. Last night he was crying and it didn't sound like he was going to stop, so I went in, topless. He could care less about momma-snacks. He just cuddled in for a few minutes and was good. Glad I can still be of use as a cuddler, but a little sorrowful that he is not pining for nursing. Gwendolyn was the same way, done was done and she never looked back. Weaning was her idea though, but I think Owen had something to do with it considering I was pregnant. Both babies went 13 1/2 months nursing, for that I am quite proud.

5 Food things

I was tagged by Jules, :) thanks, to list 5 "Marita" food things.

1) I am lactose intolerant, but am in denial and still try to have dairy things and always get sick and pay for it. Makes me understand how mentally ill think they are cured and stop taking their meds, that would be me, LOL

2) I have eaten something that could taste me, fortunately I was too young to remember it. I have eat tounge. The thought now repulses me.

3) I have eaten what I have killed. I shot a black bear a few years back.

4) Sorta a food thing, but I cannnnnnnooooootttttt stand to hear anyone chew ice and in turn don't like ice touching my teeth. I always have a straw if their is ice in my cup.

5) I make fajitas the correct way, with peppers and onions while cooking. But those nasty things never make it into my mouth. I build my fajitas with meat and cheese and lettuce. I like the flavor that peppers and onions put off, but hate to eat them.

So now I tag Shannon, Nicole, Nikki, and Daphne

BBBBBB's and other random babe things

Every word in Owen vocabulary, besides Momma :), starts with a B.
He likes ball, book, ba?, bye.
Beyond these being his favorite and only words, they are also his favorite things. He loves balls and migrates to anything ball shaped. He was chasing a balloon around my parents house when I left him this morning.
Owen has a smile that just makes a person burst out laughing, but I have yet to get it captured. I call it his snaggle tooth grin. He scrunches up his nose and smiles big, while showing off his tooth and a quarter on the top row. He has verrrrry slow growing teeth and these top two have been taking forever to come in. In the meantime we get to enjoy and laugh at the snaggle tooth grin. Love it and him!!

Gwendolyn is growing up too fast in my opinion. Her grasp of the english language, the primary language in her world (Dora speaks spanish and she has a few Eskimo words) amazes me. She is formulating sentences and is able to answer questions, not just repeat the question. Not sure how to explain it, she obviously gets her thought process from elsewhere, LOL. When I would call my niece Brooke at around this age and ask her how she was or what she was doing, there was normally silence. I decided I didn't want to talk on the phone with toddlers till they could answer these basic questions. Once they can, then they are able to carry on conversation. Gwendolyn has reached the point that she can do these things and I am tickled. It makes calling her during the day a fun thing to do and brings a smile to my face. Prior it just brought a smile to others faces to listen to my one sided conversation, laughing at me and my baby talk.
She has also went the last two nights diaperless. My baby is growing up. The YiYi (pacifier) has went away at both grandparents houses during the last two weeks. Our house is next. She has only had it during nap and night sleep since she turned 1 and that is also the only time Owen is allowed it. Maybe she won't get it when we come back from Hawaii, having gone 7 nights without it at that point. Hopefully that will be an ideal goodbye YiYi transition time. I had planned on 3 years old being it, but this will just be a few weeks prior.
She can also open the gate at the top of the stairs. I came home from work the other night to find Gwendlyn waiting for me at the top of the stair, with the gate OPEN. I greet her and ask her if Daddy had opened it and she says no, Gwendolyn did it. I make her show me and sure enough, she can open the fancy, unopenable baby gate. Arggggg, I repeat many times, you are not allowed to open it when Owen is awake. Yeah, that will last long. Owen is pretty good about turning around and going down butt first, but I don't like the idea of risking it.
The only positive is that she can now be helpful in the morning and open the gate for me when I have my hand full with Owen and the many bags of crap that I seem to need to bring with me for the day. Can I lock her in a closet now and let her out at 21??

Cell Phone Thoughts

Deep thoughts by Marita, LOL
I was thinking today about what my cell phone address book says about me. It says I have lots of friends, I like to pamper myself, and I eat lunch out in a hurry lots. I have gotten good about saving numbers in there to be able to call friends in the future, though I dislike talking on the phone. I like to eat out and don't like to wait or have to look a number up, so I have my favorite chinese, thai, and sandwich place programed in. I am not great at planning my "me" time far in advance, so I have the tanning salon and hair dresser and spa programed in for when I have a few minutes to do what I want.
Apparently I don't think I will ever be in an accident since I have never gotten around to adding my ICE person. You know, In Case of Emergency person. I assume they would call the one listed as "home" or "mom" or "hubby".
It still amazes me how I have come to rely on this method of communication. Maybe because the time I use the phone most is in the car and that is one of the rare "me" times. Sure I may have the kids with me, but I don't have to dedicate my attention to them and fight over being allowed to talk on the phone. I never take the phone into my living space though. Once I am home, it stays in the car with my purse and no more phone time. Fine by me. Most of my personal call take place on my cell, in the car, driving like a bat out of hell, JKing - I am a great driver.

Toddler Snowmachiner

We inherited a KiddyKat snowmachine, for the sunbird, that is a real little snowmachine, for 6 and younger. It needs some help, like a cowling (sp), but Gwendolyn got to take it out for a rip around the driveway this afternoon.

I want to go that way

Fast

Woops, stuck

The three of us

Owen wasn't so sure about walking on this crazy slippery stuff, so he just laid there and watched the action.
Fortunately, the snowmachine doesn't go too fast and she will get a chance to learn how to steer. It was fun to watch and we will use the heck out of the poor little KiddyKat :)
Brushed teeth tonight, I feel like I am on a good roll.

Fashion

I have decided that whatever I dislike in a new style will become the next "IT" thing. Take pegged pants from the late 80's early 90's, I hated them to begin with, then became the queen of pegging. Same thing when fashion switched over to wide legs, I thought they looked tacky and then they grew on me. I don't think it has been long enough since the last tight leg pant era, so I find myself rebeling and not buying any pegged or tight pants. Hell, I am pretty sure I still have some in my closet from the last time. I have a mondo closet and have a tendency to hold onto things longer than necessary, some would call it a pack rat problem, I think it is a girl scout gene (which I never was). I never ever like the new style till it is almost ready to be over. I don't get me??
I am fortunate that I am far past high school age. I never want to go back there. I could relive my 20's, but have no desire to relive my teens. Enjoyed them then, no major issue, was popular and happy, but am so done with the drama that come with it. I see the teen drama at work and have a hard time not pointing the sheer absurdity of some situations, knowing they will someday realize that on their own, someday.

Resolution update - failed the first night, but to be fair both kids were in bed when I got home from work. I managed tonight and informed Matt of my plan and he is supportive. This will work!! Plus I am still blogging, kinda a "me" resolution.

Belated New Years Resolution

I have been giving this a little thought and I think I came up with something satisfactory this morning. I suck at making sure my children brush their teeth on a regular basis. I think my resolution is to make them brush every night before bed. I have done well on my last two resolutions and I think they have carried over into my continued life. Three years ago Matt and I gave up french fries for 1 year, exactly. I was pregnant with Gwendolyn most of that year and the only challenging time was at the Fair and the smell of french fries was overwhelming. I survived, but it was hard. The following year, the year Gwendolyn was born I made a resolution that I would write and mail out thank you cards within two weeks of needing to. I thought that would make me a better person and help create a good habit. In reflection I would say it worked. I have continued to write thank you cards and in a timely manner. My mom encouraged me to write cards as a child/teen but I never did it. I am going for the good example approach and then will insist on it as well. Last year I must not have done anything but be a mom of an infant and toddler, since I cannot remember any resolution.
So, by doing to teeth brushing resolution, I will be creating a good habit for both me and the kids. Owen loves his spinny brush and Gwendolyn has always liked hers. I just need to make it happen and not slack. I have always been a morning brusher, right after the shower, so it will be good for me too.

As I was taking a bath with Gwendolyn last night (fun treat if Owen is already in bed) she felt the stubbles on my legs. Give me a break kid, it is January in Alaska, you wouldn't shave either. Conversation goes something like this:
GM - why do you have bubbles on your legs?
Mom - LOL
GM - why are you funny?
Mom - I'm not funny, your funny!!
GM - I'm not funny, your funny!!!
Mom - Those aren't bubbles, they are hair, mommy needs to shave her legs.

I love toddler conversation, so precious.

Another on the way to Grandmas house this morning is one I have heard alot over the last year. I don't know that I have ever said this to her, but she must hear it from somewhere.
Owen - blahblahblahblah
Gwendolyn - I heard you Owen, I heard you the first time.

Where does she get this stuff??

Oh, I love my new message board siggy, thanks Lisa

My Celebrity Self

Quite amusing if I don't say so myself. Back in my young, wild days, I had a few different men come onto me with a statement that I looked like Mariah Carey, but I think it was the hair at that point.

Christmas 2006 - AKA Overkill

As you can see, I went overboard, again. The poor kids still have presents under the tree that they haven't show any interest in opening. I think I am going to put them in my closet for next year, they'll never know. Gwendolyn got a doll house with all the trimming as her big Santa gift and Owen got an addition to his Thomas the Train wooden track. Like he cares at this point, but someday he'll like it. Little boys are hard to buy for. It seems all the aisles at the stores are geared for baby dolls or older boy toys like GI Joe action stuff. He had all of Gwendolyns baby toys and ride on and walk with stuff, so no need there. Poor second child.
I picked up a big toy box at Value Village this morning, so hopefully my living room will regain some sense of order. I feel like I am continually living in a state of clutter. I admit I am a packrat and that is a big step for me. I always feel like I would need that precious item in the future, so I better just hold on to it. Or, it was such a good deal that I just HAD to buy it for the someday-in-the-future need. Matt is starting to comment on it. His garage is not good example of no clutter. That makes us a good fit for each other. I have taken a liking to bargain shopping, such as thrift shops and garage sales. I do have to admit that I feel a little dirty after being in any thrift shop and I need to wash my hands. I like to find good deals for myself or even others. I bought a bassinet for a lady at my Church this morning, who is down on her luck and due in April. I like the feeling I get from helping others, all warm and fuzzy like.

I have a bridal shower and bachelorette party tonight. The bachelorette portion is called "wiggin out" and we are all to wear wigs and go party in the stretch Hummer. I don't know that I will do that part, no wig and no all night energy. I had a wig to borrow, but didn't follow up on it in time. I think some wine at the shower will do me just fine. It is for Karina Vogel, who is getting married in Alyeska on New Years Eve. I need to remember my camera.

Two days in a row, woohoo a new record for blogging.

It'a been a while

Hello strange world of blogging that I have abandoned. I like to read others blogs, but am lame about upkeep of my own. I was never good at keeping a journal as a child, so don't know why I though I would be good at this.
As you can see I survived a year of parenting two. Gwendolyn is still a ball of energy, but a blessing at that. She is trying to exert her opinion and test out feelings. If she doesn't get something she wants, she will resort to the statement "you make me sad" with a bottom lip sticking out for emphasis. Doesn't make it far, but it is kinda cute. She is mostly good with Owen, though he still gets knocked down on occasion. She has been completely day potty trained since between 2 & 2 1/2. I haven't pushed for night training, since I don't want to get up at night after just getting Owen to sleep all night. She has reached the point of being able to answer direct questions, "how are you?" will get an answer not a repeat. She loves Buzz Lightyear and singing Jesus Loves Me. About a month ago she started coming to our bed in the middle of the night to sleep with us. While cute, it is not something we want to encourage. She might stay with us for a while, but we end up sending her back because she does not share well.

As for Owen, he is still Momma's boy. He had a rough start into 1. Right after his birthday he ended up with a stomache bug that had him throwing up for 5 days, with runs ontop of that. His birthday was very fun with lots of kids and activities (floam critters). We went to the Dr for his 1 year check-up and shots the following Tuesday. The appt went well enough, but they were concerned about his lack of weight gain. He went from the 75% to less than the 5% during his year of life. What can I say, he doens't like to eat food. More on that later. So we get the news that we have to go get blood drawn after his shots to test his thyroid. Yippyy. Soo...I am trying to get him partially dressed in preparation for his shot. I reach to the floor for his socks and let go of his legs to get that extra inch of reach and flip he goes off the table! Onto his poor forehead. I felt like an ass and he cried so hard. Feeling like an ass and him not reacting bad, besides crying, I didn't admit it to the Dr. Poor choice and I know it. Anyhow, shots and blood draw later, then onto home. Early the next morning I hear retching over the moniter and go to check, but don't feel anything in his crib so I go back to bed. When he gets up for the day I see vomit all over him and the bed. Poor baby is sick and starts to retch on me. I send Gwendolyn and Duke down to Grandmas with Matt. I call the Dr to see if he is reacting to the shots or the drop on the head or just a bug. They are concerned and want me to rush there. I am borderline hysterical, so Matt meets me there. He is fine, but has a stomache bug. During his 5 days of vomiting, he lost a precious pound off his already small body. He weighed 18lb 5oz at his year checkup. We went back a week after the vomiting and he had gained it back, YEA. Now to keep feeding him. He got his first taste of food, rice cereal, at 6 months. Wasn't excited about that very much. I was lucky if I could get a small jar of food into him for the next 4 months. He still nursed lots and that is where he was getting 90% of his nutrients. He is now actively opening his mouth for a spoonful of food, but he is still a very picky eater and not very trustworthy of what you are offering him. I would estimate that 90% of what he eats now, foodwise, is jarred baby food. Not very into what is on anyones plate yet. He took his first few steps a couple days before his birthday, but being sick derailed that talent. He is just now at 13 months getting really confident and walking across rooms and turning. Crawling is still the fast method. His first word was Momma :) followed by ball (loves balls), then bye. Aapa (his second favorite adult) swears that he said Aapa last night when he was over to visit. He gives high fives and waves bye and is giving a silly grin that shows off his one top tooth, kinda wrinkled nose and snaggle tooth like. Adorable. He is always interested in whatever his big sister is playing with, of course.



I think that is a fair update of my kiddos and what they are doing. I will try to keep a better blog going. Maybe if I don't mention that I have it going again I will do better, not likely, but maybe. Personally I think it is a little depressing to see everyone else getting blog rolled and me not, but then I try to remember that I don't update often enough to get included in on the fun. But, on the other hand, I think I would update more if I though I had people reading what I was writing. Blogging shouldn't be a popularity contest, but it can feel like one. There, I bore a portion of my insecure soul for you :) don't tell anyone.

My Babies Birthdays

For Gwendolyn

You entered: 3/8/2004
Your date of conception was on or about 16 June 2003 which was a Monday.
You were born on a Mondayunder the astrological sign Pisces.
Your Life path number is 8.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2453072.5.
The golden number for 2004 is 10.
The epact number for 2004 is 8.
The year 2004 was a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/22/2004 and ending 2/8/2005.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Monkey.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 11 April 2004.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 25 February 2004.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 30 May 2004.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 6 June 2004.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 16 September 2004.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 6 April 2004.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 24 February 2004.
As of 2/24/2006 8:12:53 PM ESTYou are 1 years old. You are 23 months old.
You are 102 weeks old.
You are 718 days old.You are 17,252 hours old.
You are 1,035,132 minutes old.You are 62,107,973 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 0.281017612524462 years old. (You're just a pup!)
There are 12 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 2 candles.
Those 2 candles produce 2 BTUs,or 504 calories of heat (that's only 0.5040 food Calories!) .
You can boil 0.23 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 2004 there were 4,091,063 births in the US.
In 2004 the US population was approximately 281,421,906 people, 79.6 persons per square mile.
In 2004 in the US there were approximately 2,181,000 marriages (7.4%) and — divorces (3.7%)
In 2004 in the US there were approximately 2,423,000 deaths (8.3 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
Your birthstone is Aquamarine The Mystical properties of Aquamarine
Aquamarine is often used to experience love and mercy. It is said to help ease depression and grief.Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Jade, Rock Crystal, BloodstoneYour birth tree is
Weeping Willow, the Melancholy
Beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.
There are 304 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 317 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.

For Owen

You entered: 11/24/2005
Your date of conception was on or about 3 March 2005 which was a Thursday.
You were born on a Thursdayunder the astrological sign Sagittarius.
Your Life path number is 6.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2453698.5.
The golden number for 2005 is 11.
The epact number for 2005 is 19.
The year 2005 was not a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/9/2005 and ending 1/28/2006.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rooster.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 27 March 2005.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 9 February 2005.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 15 May 2005.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 22 May 2005.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 3 October 2005.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 23 April 2005.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 8 February 2005.
As of 2/24/2006 8:14:15 PM ESTYou are 0 years old.
You are 3 months old.
You are 13 weeks old.
You are 92 days old.
You are 2,228 hours old.
You are 133,694 minutes old.
You are 8,021,655 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.60078277886497E-02 years old. (You're just a pup!)
There are 273 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 1 candles.
Those 1 candles produce 1 BTUs,or 252 calories of heat (that's only 0.2520 food Calories!) .
You can boil 0.11 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 2005 there were 4,091,063 births in the US.
In 2005 the US population was approximately 281,421,906 people, 79.6 persons per square mile.
In 2005 in the US there were approximately 2,181,000 marriages (7.4%) and — divorces (3.7%)
In 2005 in the US there were approximately 2,423,000 deaths (8.3 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
Your birthstone is Citrine The Mystical properties of Citrine
Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit. Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond
Your birth tree is
Ash Tree, the Ambition
Uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with its fate, can be egoistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over heart, but takes partnership very serious.
There are 304 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 317 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was in its last quarter.

My birthday facts

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

You entered: 8/30/1975
Your date of conception was on or about 7 December 1974 which was a Saturday.
You were born on a Saturdayunder the astrological sign Virgo.
Your Life path number is 6.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2442654.5.
The golden number for 1975 is 19.
The epact number for 1975 is 17.
The year 1975 was not a leap year.
Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/11/1975 and ending 1/30/1976.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rabbit.
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 30 March 1975.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 12 February 1975.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 18 May 1975.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 25 May 1975.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 6 September 1975.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 27 March 1975.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 11 February 1975.
As of 2/24/2006 7:57:43 PM ESTYou are 30 years old.
You are 366 months old.You are 1,591 weeks old.
You are 11,136 days old.You are 267,283 hours old.
You are 16,037,037 minutes old.You are 962,222,263 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.35851272015656 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)
There are 187 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 31 candles.
Those 31 candles produce 31 BTUs,or 7,812 calories of heat (that's only 7.8120 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.54 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1975 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US.In 1975 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1975 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1975 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.
Your birthstone is Peridot
The Mystical properties of Peridot
Peridot is used to help dreams become a reality.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Sardonyx, Diamond, Jade
Your birth tree is
Pine Tree, the Particularity
Loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, many disappointments till it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.
There are 304 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 317 days till Orthodox Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning crescent.

Changing Everyday

Just shy of 23 months, Gwendolyn started forming sentences with all her little words.  It is amazing to watch her continue to learn and expand.  For being an independant child, she is trying even harder.  Now she has to try doing all the dressing and shoe putting-on.  My lesson, plan far ahead, don't need to leave the house fast, at all.  Won't happen.  She has been great about the whole potty training plan, usually telling me when she has to go,  For the past week she has had the stomache flu/runs.  Practically every hour, she needed to go potty.  She always knew in enough advance to tell me.  The only problem this has caused is she doesn't ask to go potty now unless it involves some "action".  This means no more peeing on the potty.  I Guess I would rather change wet diapers than stinky.

Owen has been real good to me the last few nights and slept a 5 hour stretch.  Sleep is fabulous, in my book.  He is 2 1/2 months and that is also when Gwendolyn started sleeping in a longer stretch like that.  I hope he takes on her napping abilities.  Right now he likes to nap while being held, preferably by me.  argggg  That means I get nothing done during that time.  He has pretty good control of holding his head up, there is still a little bobble on occasion.  Mornings are his happy time, but he is still a night owl.  I look forward to the day when he wants to go to sleep before 8pm, not after 10pm.  I am still waiting for him to decide if he wants to be a thumb or finger sucker.  He is constantly putting the side of his hand in his mouth and trying to suck.  At his 2 month check he was 11 lb 4 oz.

We are flying out to Spokane in 3 days with my mom and sister in law and her baby.  Should be interesting.

Native girl

Just some recent Gwendolyn shots in her parka and kuspuk.

Time flies

Owen is now 2 months old.

He is 11 lb 4 oz and 22 inches.  We are doing wonderful, busy but wonderful.  2 kids under 2 is a huge handful.  Gwendolyn loves on him more than she hits him, most days.  Yesterday she tested my patience alllll day long, wow she sure was a terrible twos all day.  Today she dragged poor Owen off the couch and dropped him on the floor.  She just doesn't get it.  Bless her heart, she has good intentions, but bad thoughts.

Owen is sure a mommas boy.  I blame Gwendolyn for that.  I can't leave Owen laying anywhere for fear she will hit him or try to take him somewhere.  So he is always in my arms.  That is where he prefers to sleep as well, next to me in bed.  We have made huge steps the last few days.  He has slept in the bassinet for 3/4 of the night the last 2 nights.  Such progress.  I am afraid if I don't work on this now, he will always need me next to him to sleep or he will always be in our bed.  I think that time is important for a couple.

Introducing Owen Andrew

Born Thanksgiving day at 6:55 pm
7 lb 1 oz and 20 inches
Happy, healthy, hungry baby boy. He would be happiest if he was always nursing, little piglet.
We are home and awaiting the arrival of Gwendolyn and the loss of my sanity. She came to the hospital yesterday and met baby brother. She was much more impressed with her new baby dolly, than her baby brother. Though she did not try to hit him, good sign.
Labor was about 15 hours and I would have stayed home longer and relaxed, but I was group B strep postive this time so needed the antibiotic. I had an epideral that lasted till the last 1/2 hour.

So now we settle into routine.

 

That was the message I sent out on Saturday to friends and family.  We are still doing great.  Went to the Dr. today and he is 6 lb 12 oz. 

Gwendolyn is doing pretty good.  She likes to love on him, but does not realize how fragile he is and how strong she is.  She will try to shove him out of the way if she wants my lap.  She is very curious when he is nursing.  Always asking "bite?".  My answer had been no, baby is eating and we can get you some big girl lunch.  Well today when she asked bite when he was nursing, she leaned over and tried to take a bite out of my arm.  Apparently I am a chew toy.

Sleep is a precious commodity and I am off to invest.

What happy bunny are you?

http://www.youthink.com/quiz.asp?action=take&quiz_id=204
Cut and paste the above link, because I suck at this blogging code stuff, and go see what kind of bunny you are.

What "Happy Bunny" phrase are you? you suck and that's sad You are a very compassionate and sympathetic person. You use your divine sense of humor to cheer up a situation.

She is getting better

Baby Matia was over to our house last night and Gwendolyn didn't try to hit her once. Such progress!!!! I held the baby, Matt, both Grandpas and various other relatives held her. No screaming, crying, hitting. This is great!! I have stepped up the baby talk and be gentle stuff. Hasn't helped Dukes destiny too much, she still picks on him, but something sunk in for the baby.

We had a nice Halloween. Went to a carnival with some cousins. Most of it was too old for Gwendolyn, but we still had fun. Went and got her picture taken in the outfit that Grandma Mary made for her. She was great.

You can tell she was mid laugh and happy. Love this picture.

I'm an Auntie...

and I hadn't even managed to come here and announce it. Well.....
To back up, I just found out that SIL is not is labor, mainly because the baby turned in the last couple weeks. They are going to a Dr tomorrow to try and turn the baby. If unsuccessful, she will have to have a c-section tomorrow. If successful, she can continue on till labor happens naturally. Come next tuesday, she will be 2 weeks overdue and will lose her option of the birth center.She is a very "natural" person and this is really upset with this turn of events. It is bad enough that she may have to have the baby at the hospital, but to face a c-section is awful.They tried the "natural" approach of hips in the air at the birth center.She is seeing an accupuncturist this evening, upon recommendation of the birth center. Finally, she has an appt with a dr tomorrow to try and do the version turn (manual pressing on the stomach to turn baby).
No new major news yet, just an update. The role of the accupuncurist is to encourage the baby to curl into a little ball, via needles and heat (by the little toes). This makes the turning more manageable. She is to call the womens center at the hospital this morning and see how many beds they have open. Since she is not in labor this is not considered high priority and they will reschedule for monday. Erin is not opposed to this, gives her more time to work things on her own. Wants to make sure that the dr is not going to insist that they just do a c section today without trying the version. It is a big baby and it is folded in half, feet up by head, which is next to her left rib. Unsure how long baby has been like that. Had her first U/S this week. The midwife had thought that baby was dropped a few weeks back, when doing a pelvic, so don't think it has been this way forever.
She tried the turning and would now agree with you that trying was not worth it, just get the c-section. But I don't think anyone could of convinced her of that prior.She ended up with a 9lb 8oz baby girl via c-section. Baby was just too big to turn.
It's official, I am finally an auntie Baby girl, was born via c-setion this afternoon. The dr tried turning the breech baby both ways, left and right, no luck. She was 9lb, 8oz and 20 3/4 inches. She came out with rolls on the legs and arms and a double chin. Holy toledo! Mom has flaming red hair and dad has brown with auburn showing through. Baby has brown hair on top with a hint of red by the sideburn area. I expect it will turn red. They are both doing wonderful. Have nursed and were successful. And I have freaking cold coming on and don't want to hold the baby. Dammit
Matia (may-sha) Larkin is her name. Matia is an island in Washington, Erin is from Bellingham. It is also a spanish name and is pronounced differently in Mexico.
I don't have any pictures with me and her yet. I have gotten over my cold and been able to see her a few times. She is already outgrown newborn diapers, wow. She was born Oct 14th.

Blogger personality

My Bloginality is ISFJ!!!
As an ISFJ, you are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging.This makes your primary focus on Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Feeling.
Hmmmm...is that me??