Shoelace follow-up

Poppa picks Gwendolyn up from school and men are no good at getting information. I never *really* know how her day went at school, till I drop her off again the next time.
So this morning the teacher says, "Gwendolyn was sure challenging and spirited on Tuesday". I guess she took her laces out all day long and that was just the shoes. She limit tested every activity and instruction. The teacher thinks she may have won the day and was ready for round 2 today. Ackkk, she is full of it!! My cousin plans on helping in the classroom on Thursdays, not sure if that will help Gwendolyn or hinder her.
She is a fiery one, that is for sure!!

Stupid Shoelaces

Dear (strong willed) Gwendolyn,
Child, your shoes are not walkable when you take the laces out!! Please leave them alone and quietly enjoy circle time at school. Pay attention to the teacher and not the de-lacing of your new shoes.
Sincerely,
Your Embarrassed Mom who had to re-thread them, yet again

Middle name meme

Jules openly tagged for this meme. Here are the rules:
1 You have to post these rules before you give you the facts.
2 Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name.
3 If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
4 When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.
5 At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


L - learned, I feel like I am always learning, in all parts of life

E - Easy-going. I am slow to rile up and I have a very passive personality

N - Nice, I pride myself of being a nice person and someone people like and are willing to come to for help or friendship.

O - Optimistic, I like to think of the glass as half full and get fustrated with pessemistic people.

R - Reliable, I come through in a pinch for people and my word is my bond. How cheesy cliche, but true.

E - man, another E one......Educated works, but not exciting....Energetic, not always.....Experimental, that is life in general....exepmt, from what?.....Eager, I'm not a beaver....Easy, slut haha....Encouragement - I feel like I go through life encouraging people and boosting them up to their full potential. In my work life and my friend life and of course in my family life. There, I like that one.

I tag anyone who wants to play along, cheers.

Various updates

Owen is talking up a storm!! Most words you can make out, but there is lots of rambling in the sentence too. Mainly, I have talkative children. His mulescum (sp) bumps seems to be going away. His back and pits haven't looked this good since he was a few months old. Yay, maybe this is the end!! He also has this adorable strut/run thing he does. It is so cute to see, he tucks his elbows back and kinda sticks his butt out and jams right along.

Gwendolyn is testing her sassy boundaries. She will lip off if someone answers her question that she didn't intend to, "Grandma, I wasn't talking to you" with attitude of course. Bleck, I hate it and am working very hard of breaking it. I still haven't unpacked Gwendolyns Michigan luggage and now we have Anchorage motorhome crap to unpack. That is the worst part of travel.

Speaking of travel, I spent all afternoon yesterday researching renting a house in Oahu in November. Getting excited!!!

Most Handsome

Owen was awarded the 'Most Handsome' in the toddler class of the State Fair this last weekend. I dressed him in warm-up pants and white Nike shoes, with his UAF hockey jersey, and a spikey little mohalk in the front middle. I have to describe it because I got no pictures. I was by myself and ended up with another 1 year old and a 5 year old cousin.
We had fun the whole time we were at the Fair. I think the people who plan the baby show times do not have kids. They always schedule for nap times. I know there is no "ideal" time for cute, but they seem to always schedule the wrong ages for the wrong times. At 20 months, Owen naps around 1pm. His time was 1pm. Last year, his age was 9 months and his naps were morning and afternoon, and his judging time was 3pm. On top of all that, they expect the class winners to come back at 7pm for the overall judging. NO baby is real cute at 7pm. It is for fun though. There are the wacky parents that get all serious and pagent-parent like. They crack me up.

GWENDOLYN COMES HOME TONIGHT!!! Woohoo. Matt and I are going to flip a coin to see who will go get her at the airport and who will stay home with a sleeping Owen. Their flight comes in at 1am. I think I will let him go, save me the tear emberrasment. I almost cried when I came home from Hawaii, I know I couldn't make it through her coming home.

What is worse than baby poop in a tub?

Baby poop in a tub when you are taking a nice, relaxing bath with said baby!! Yup, thanks Owen. Talk about moving fast. Little stinker or should I say pooper.

Oh yeah, thats why I had two kids

So they could play with each other!!
Gwendolyn is in Michigan with my Mom for a family reunion and to visit. They left Thursday night and have had a fun time so far. She started out liking to talk to us on the phone, but now refuses. Unless it is Owen, she will talk to her brother and that is it!! I am sure that is a sign she is missing him. She goes to bed at night saying she wants me, but wakes up looking for her brother. I know she misses me and Daddy too, but is paying us back for abandoning her, by not talking with her 3 year old butt.
Owen on the other hand, can't get enough of MOM. He makes me play with him all day. I think he is so used to Gwendolyn being all up in his business that he expects there to be a person looming over him. Cute, but getting old.
He was so sweet last night. He has been sleeping fitfully, not sure if that is because he is alone in the room or not. I went in one time he was wining/crying out. He was laying on his back with his eyes closed. I just stood there and rubbed his leg. He opened his eyes and saw me, stood up and reached out. I picked him up and just held him for a few seconds. He then leaned out and looked up at me and then leaned in and gave me a true puckered-up kiss and then laid his head back down. His kisses have normally been open mouth, slobbery things. It was just so sweet, like saying thank you for checking on me.
Back to Gwendolyn being gone. They are gone for 10 days. I was real proud of myself for not cying at the airport. I laughed to myself when I tried to be a sweet mom and give her a $5 to spend on whatever during her travels. She looked at me like, "gee thanks, paper." Now, if I had given her a penny she would have been real excited. I tucked it away in a photo album that I had put together for her. She has been a little whiney the last couple days. I hope that eases up when more family gets there with kids her age. It is just such a strange element for her, with no Mommy or Daddy there. They drove over to Marquette this morning to spend the day with Matts Grandparents. Everyone thought this would be better than them driving the 250 miles to Gwendolyn. They are getting up there in age. I hope she is not being a brat.

It's no wonder...

I drive like I do. Here are a sample of what I hear from the back seat.
Owen "gogogogogo"
Gwenodlyn "Faster Mommy" "You drive faster than Daddy" "Your now the leader Mommy" "Wow, we are going fast"
Is it no wonder that I go fast, I impress my children. *Sad head shake* I need to get a grip.

Thank God for the blog

Owen just pulled his other tear duct tube out and I needed to reference how the pull went last time. Check back in the blog to May and wolla, pull from the top.

It was lame, I could see in slow motion what Owen was in the process of doing and I could do nothing to stop what was in motion. He was a little more pissed this time. I immediately called for re-enforcements, poppa Rufus (FIL). Matt was out fishing, at least an hour away and my parents were on their way back to town with their newly purchased motorhome. Once I knew help was on the way and I didn't have to do it on my own, I put in Baby Einstein and gave him a yiyi. Still pissed but managable. Rufus gets here in less than 10 minutes and he gets the tube cut. We differ on which end to yank from, I say upper and he says lower. Neither end is budging :( I end up paging Dr Zambar for the second time this year and he calls right back. He says pull hard, that is what he would end up doing. If it breaks, it will eventually come out his nose. Lovely. I had already confirmed the pull from the upper thought on my blog while I was on with his answering service and he confirmed it as well. The tube ended up coming out while we were still on the phone, Rufus had a hold of the top and Owen turned his head away. Out it came. I did manage to get some pictures this time. He calmed down pretty fast and seems over it.

Dammit!!

Yep, that is the word that my sweet little girl exclaimed tonight when her macaroni and cheese noodle fell off her fork onto her pants. Why you ask? That would be what I exclaimed in the kitchen not three minutes earlier when the spoon fell out of the pan and hit my shirt, twice, in the matter of minutes.
It is all my fault and I have the cleaner mouth out of Matt and I. Oh the shame of it all. I have every intention of fessing up too.
When I tried telling her that it was an adult word and she wasn't to use it, she replied "It is my word now". Dammit, that backfired.

The kids and I did a photo shoot for a commercial this morning and then again this afternoon. They called and said there had been technical difficulties and we needed to reshoot it. My understanding is that it will be for an internet site and brochures. It is for a new housing subdivision that my uncle manages and they were trying to portray that it is a family place to live and took pictures of me walking Owen in the stroller and Gwendolyn riding her bike next to us and then them sliding on the playground with me catching them at the bottom. They both did so wonderful, both times. I was quite proud!! If only it paid :)

Couldn't sleep in

Today was my rare chance to sleep in and have no children in the house when I chose to get out of bed. COULDN'T DO IT!!! Why you wonder? Because Matt was making my little girl late for school and it was driving me crazy!! It took everything I had to not get out of bed and tell him to step the pace up 5 notches. What a waste of my sleep in turn. I was up at the same time. She had to have been at least 15 minutes late for school and I dispise being late and pride myself on being an on-time person. She already had the potential to being a whitetrash child today. Her lunch box wasn't in her cubby hole on Tuesday and grandpa didn't know to search it out. That meant today, her lunch was in a plastic grocery bag. ACK. I left very specific instruction with Matt to find her lunch box and transfer the lunch over or just leave everything loose in her cubby. I don't want my little girl getting picked on, LOL
Although, I am enjoying the house all to myself this morning. Uninterupted internet time, cooking channel on TV, and no one calling me momma ;)

On a very off topic side note....Owen pooped in the potty 2 days ago. Woohoo I think he is still far from ready, but that was huge. It is those little things in life that make me happy, like poop in a toilet.

July looking better already

July is off to a great start. I am starting to feel better and my HCG is steadily coming down.
Matt and I and the kids spent 4 days for the 4th of July out at the Nash cabin at Chena Hot Springs in the motorhome. We had tons of fun, fabulous weather, and nice relaxation. There was non stop sunshine and a gentle breeze to help with the mosquitos. We stayed up late and slept in (and are now paying for it trying to get back on schedule). Matt and Gwendolyn went fishing, we all went 4-wheeling and swimming at the Hot Springs everyday. My parents came out on Tuesday afternoon till we left on Wednesday. That was a nice treat for the kids. Owen wasn't sure about the 4-wheeler, but quickly learned to love it and speed. He also blossomed in the pool. This was the best I have seen him do yet. He loved going under water and jumping in. He would swim back and forth between us like a champ. Gwendolyn was, of course, a fish in the water. Such a natural. She played hookie from school for the first time this week, bad parents.
I have LOTS of pictures, but I can't get photobucket to open up at home and I thought I had sent the pictures to my work computer, but no such luck. I will update later with pictures. There was a neat fallen tree on the beach in front of the cabin and we took lots of pictures on it and next to the river. Owen is unfortunately at a "no picture" stage and not very cute for the camera.

Just for me and my records...

Feel free to ignore, but I wanted this written somewhere. I need the HCG to be at 0 and the hemaglobin (it is what carries oxygen around your body and low numbers are anemic, over 12 is preferred)
June 3rd - HCG 1800
June 5th - HCG 980
June 8th first Methotrexate shot and HCG 870
June 15th - HCG 2950 and Hemaglobin 12
June 15th - second Methotrexate shot
June 20th - back in ER for pain and feared rupture,
June 23rd - HCG 1120
June 25th - HCG 480 and Hemaglobin 9.9
June 28th - HCG 198 and Hemaglobin 10.1
July 2nd - HCG 83
July 9th - 22 HCG Getting closer!!!
July 16th - 12 HCG Still not there dammit. I had such high hopes for this week
July 23rd - 4 HCG and the DR cleared me to stop testing. Woohoo!!
I will test weekly till 0

End in sight???

I spent 7 hours on Wednesday in the ER, due to cramping and pain. I was concerned my tube had ruptured. They gave my wonderful morphine (yummy) twice and an ultrasound. The tube still looked intact and we are happy that the HCG number came down to 1120. I was suprised to learn that at it's highest, it was 2950 or so. We were waiting for Dr Hess to get out of surgery and see me. That is what took forever, but he finally came and said we can keep waiting it out and testing the HCG or we can do surgery. Every time he mentions surgery, the phrase "take out the tube" always comes up. I DON"T WANT TO LOSE MY TUBE!! How clear do I have to make this to every friend and family member who is appalled that I haven't had surgery yet. As long as the number keeps coming down, I will keep playing the waiting game.
I have had a few more real rough pain times since then. When the pain hits, I have about 20 minutes before it is overwhelming and all consuming. I managed to get the kids up and dressed and drove the 10 minutes to my parents house saturday morning, before I was able to take the vicoden and stomache muscle relaxer. It knocks me out for a few hours, but that is the only relief. I had another spell at 3 in the morning last night. Wowza. At least when you are in labor, you are going to receive "something" at the end that makes it all worth it. I am trying to keep that philosophy in mind with this pain, it must be helping and trying to clear out my tube, I'm hoping.
We are now concerned with the effect this is having on my hemaglobin. Those numbers are dropping and we are now monitering them too. I think it is from all the blood I am losing and having drawn. When those numbers go low, you are anemic, I think. That number was 12 and is now 10.2 I was made to have it tested again yesterday and it hadn't changed then and I need to go in again on Monday. My Dr. has given me his pager number and has told me at the end of every visit that his number is in the book, if I need anything. I like that.
Anyhow, I hope all this is pointing to an end in sight

Hockey music

I could hear Gwendolyn over at her little Fisher Price kind of piano the other day, singing away. She finally asks me to sing the hockey song with her. I start paying a little more attention to the words coming out of her mouth. By golly she is attempting the Star Spangle Banner!! That is a heck of a song for a trained professional and she wants to belt it out at 3. She is doing a mighty fine job of it, with some correct word and lots of correct pitch. When she gets to the end of her song she states "now sit down and watch hockey" OMG, LOL!!
We have since practiced the song many more times and I am sure to hear her "help" the professional singer prior to all the College games this winter.
She spent the day yesterday with my parents, fishing on Quartz lake. She did quite well and caught many silver salmons that are stocked into the lake.



Even drove the boat

Preschool followup

Getting ready to leave to school

Goofy girl, with her new Tinkerbell backpack and lunch box :)

So tired looking at the end of her first day of school. You can even see a little bit of her shiner under her right eye. She ran into the table on the ferry boat on vacation.

She did great at school. The teacher said they are working with her on stopping what she is doing when they say her name. Yep, good luck with that. Just kidding, I am sure she will do better with them than at home. She even took her nap, without her pacifier. Amazing, I tell you. I was quite proud of her. The teacher did say that after nap she went potty and came out holding her crotch and saying it hurt to pee. And kept complaining about it. So I was slightly concerned that her was groped at school, but mainly concerned that she had a UTI. I got her in that afternoon and turns out she just needs to wipe better, she was a little irritated. I did ask to make sure they are monitered while napping and was affirmed that there are two teachers and shown where the little individual cots are set out. They are kinda cute little things. She was very excited to be going back today and Daddy will pick her up. I think they are making something for fathers day, so I am kinda bummed that he will see it before Sunday, but I am sure he will love it anyway.

I was home with Owen on Monday for pink eye and again yesterday for a fever and overall cold. He was so miserable all night. I put a humidifier in his room last night and he seemed to cough less. I happened to read through the pharmacy info on the shot I took last week "Your immune system will be depleted, avoid those will illness". Yeah right, I'm so screwed. On that note, my HCG number rose to 2600, which was way higher than I expected it to go. Dr Hess doesn't seem too concerned and mentioned wanting it to come down 15-20% by my next blood draw on Friday and potentially another shot. So, I am still hoping and praying for a good ending.

I almost cried...

But held it together. I just dropped Gwendolyn off for her first day of pre-school. She will be going 2 days a week. We had visited before vacation and she jumped right in and had a ball. Today was no different. I had to drag her back out to see her cubby hole with her lunch box and blankie. She could care less about me, she was *at school*!!! She has been so excited to go and the only thing that could make it better in her book would be to have a bus to ride. I took a couple pictures with her backpack before we left the house and I may sneak some more when I pick her up. The pre-school is also where the failed attempt at parent/tot gymnastics is. She will be in gymnastics one afternoon a week, while at school and I think she will be much more ready for it. I just hope she pulls off eating lunch without a huge mess and the nap time. I am so excited for her, but it makes me a little weepy that she is growing up (stupid hormones too).
She has a few friends already attending and more that will start in the fall. I will be back tonight with pictures of my big girl!

Side note - I ended up home yesterday with Owen and pink eye. Just one more reason to not be at work, when I get medically cleared.

Counting my blessings

I am fortunate to have two healthy, happy little ones.
I am blessed in a happy, giving marriage.
I have a super supportive family.
I have a job I love (though occasionally think about leaving).
I have supportive friends, online and in real life.
It is weeks like this that I need to focus on all the positives in my life.
I just had what was supposed to have been a family vacation in Kodiak. It turned into a up close and personal tour of all the medical facilities in Kodiak. I ended up pregnant, while having an IUD inside me to prevent such thing from happening. Imagine my and Matts suprise. We arrived in Kodiak Saturday night and I decided something was wrong enough to go to the ER on sunday. I had never been to an ER before and was dreading the idea of a 5 hour wait to be seen, just to be told I had menstral cramps and to go home. The nurse was actually treating me that way when I first arrived. I was asking to get the IUD removed, thinking my body was rejecting it. The first step was a blood test and low and behold it came back positive.
The next concern was whether it was viable or tubal. We couldn't find the ultrasound tech and planned on that for monday. They did another blood draw to test my HCG hormone numbers, 1800.
Monday I saw a nice family practice doctor and he conferred with my OB and removed the ineffective IUD. My ultasound was for the afternoon and it started out well and then he saw a mass in my left tube. It went downhill from there. We then let all the family in on what was going on. We were there for a family vacation and I had been spending all my time at the doctors and they needed to be let in the loop. It was known that this is a life threatening condition for me and that was the scariest aspect for me. I hadn't then and even still not now morned the loss of the baby that had barely begun. I think that is because I wasn't trying, nor did I even think it was possible to get pg right now. My brain has been focused on me and what I need to do to keep my healthy. I don't want to lose my tube and the potential for a couple more babies in the future.
Tuesday the blood test showed that my HCG had dropped to 900. If it is a viable pregnancy then the number will double every 48 hours. Mine was dropping and that is a good thing, meaning my body is potentially taking care of things on its own. I flew home with Owen Tuesday night. We got weathered in and got a sucky flight time of landing at home at 1:30 am. Owen did great.
I went to my clinic and got another ultrasound and blood draw. My HCG is currently 760 and you can still see something in my left tube. They brought extra people in to see my tube since it is rare to see an ectopic pregnancy. Normally it is caught when the tube explodes and the woman ends up in emergency in the hospital. It really is a life threatening condition and they didn't want me more that an hour from a hospital, in the case that my tube burst. You could bleed to death rather quick from this.
I then went to see my OB and discuss options. I am still in a valium haze, but I ended up with a D&C this afternoon to see if it was potentially a utero pg or in fact a tubal. If it was utero, then good and we keep checking the HCG hormone to make sure it returns to 0. If it wasn't then I will likely get the metrazine (sp) shot. It is essencially a chemo shot, which holds the potential chance of chemo side effects of hair loss, tired, mouth sores.....and we will also keep checking the HCG. Very worse case, they remove the tube.
Soooo...this is a recap of my family vacation to Kodiak. I am still at my parents house with Owen and didn't figure on all this when I stopped by to check on my house. So we are still in the same clothes, blech, showered but feeling stale.
I am glad that I got out and didn't have to ride the ferry back. There is 16 foot swells and 30-50 knot winds. It will be a long ROCKY ferry ride for them. Gwendolyn and grandma took dramamine and Matt has beer but it is a night ride and laying down always makes potential sea sickness much worse.
I am very relieved that I listened to my gut on Sunday and listened that something was wrong. I could have been stuck on a ferry, in the middle of the Ocean in distress. It is the could.have.beens that still have my head spinning.

One Tube down...one to go

Owen pulled one of his tear duct tubes out last night. Well, as far out as it would come. This meant he had what looked like a rubberband hanging from the corner of his eye. I didn't freak till later and give myself credit for it. I had just pulled into Sams Club to get road drinks for our vacation. I open Owens door to get him out and notice he has one of Gwendolyns hair tie rubber bands covering his eye. I wonder how the heck he got one of those and was about to bush it away when it dawns on me what it is. I calmly yelp and get back in the front seat. I grab the phone book and can't for the life of me spell EYE. I finally find it and notice it is 6:05 pm, five freaking minutes after the clinic closes. I get patched through to the answering service and at that point am half way across town to the clinic. The Dr is nice enough to call me back from Hawaii. By then I am in his lot, with no one there. His advice is to either go the ER, wait till morning and go to his clinic, or cut it and yank it out myself. None are fabulous options, but I know what I must do. His advice is to do it myself and I agree. I start driving to my office, since it is the closest place with scissors and I can't stand seeing him like this and I can't keep hearing Gwendolyn ask "what is wrong with brothers eye???". I finally call Matt, now that I am not waiting for the Dr to call me back and know that I will break down when I start talking to him. Sure as anything I do and all I can say is everything is fine, we are fine. I finally am able to get the jist out to him and he convinces me to drive to his parents house (extra 10 minutes) and his Dad would be there. I had already distracted them both with a DVD of Bugs Life, Owens favorite. So I give him his YiYi (pacifier) and continue driving. They are waiting for me outside (MIL and FIL) and we decide to leave Owen in his carseat and do minor surgery in the driveway. It is determined that Gwendolyns round tip scissors would be best. Once she sees that we are using them, she volunteers to do the tube cutting. Thanks, but we have it under control. I hold his head tight and grandma hold his hands down and poppa does a quick snip. We are instructed to pull from the top, fast. It is long and rubbery. Rufus, FIL, did the pulling and Owen didn't seem to notice a thing. There was no tension and it came out super easy. I hope that means it did the job it was supposed to while it was in there. Hopefully he will have nice, wide tear ducts and no more issues. Not sure why, but there is only one shot at this surgery, you can't go do it again later. All in all, it was three inches long, but tied into a circle inside his nose. The Dr was happy that it was in for over 6 weeks, but I thought he had wanted it in for 6 months. I am relieved it happened before we went on vacation and now feel like I could do it if necessary with the other eye. Not that I want to though.

Alaskan Babies

Helping Daddy wash the Yukon


This kid ALWAYS has a hockey stick in his hands and gets very mad if you dare take it away.

Please note the chunk of floating ice that is the white in the horizon. Yes, my children are playing in a frozen lake.